Today, I will return to work after about 10 weeks of maternity leave.
Some people are, and that is a wonderful, noble, critically important thing. I admire them. I am grateful for their calling. I call many of them my friends.
I am just not wired that way. I am a better Mom (not to mention wife and person) when I go to work.
That doesn’t, however, alleviate the Mom guilt that pops into a gal’s head when she heads to the office. Many times when I am home, I feel like I should be working and when I am working I feel like I should be home. I worry that in trying to do both jobs well, I am succeeding at neither.
I don’t ever want my kids to feel second to my career. Because obviously, they are my most important job. I want to do everything I can to make them feel loved and happy and important.
But I also want them to understand that not all moms look the same. And not all people have the same calling. I believe God put it in some hearts to stay home, and that he put it in some hearts to go to the office. And both are ok. Both are good moms.
And as I think about starting this next chapter, I am thankful to so many people who have helped me come to these realizations and feel comfortable in my decisions.
Thank you to my own mom and my grandmas and my aunts and neighbors and family friends who showed me since I was a small child that being a working mom was ok. That working moms are great moms and their kids can thrive and succeed. That they do not love any less than a stay-at-home mom.
Thank you to the other moms in my profession who have shown me how to walk this path. As a young attorney, I watched a senior partner at my firm do so with grace and dignity, and that has stuck with me and inspired my own journey.
Thank you to our babysitter for allowing me to leave my most precious possessions with her and never worry about whether they are being cared for and loved. This is the biggest piece of the working mom puzzle for me, and having her is the perfect fit.
Thank you to my mom friends. The ones who are on the same working mom road who share their joys and struggles with me. And the ones who are stay-at-home moms for showing me what it looks like when that is one’s vocation and reminding me that we can love, support, and encourage each other despite that being different for each of us.
Thank you to my husband who will undoubtedly step up to help keep these two babies alive and a house standing as I go back to the office.
And lastly, thank you to God for giving me these babies. And for giving me my dream career. And for allowing me to have both. We constantly look around and stand in awe of Him opening the right doors for our little family. I am grateful the call of my vocation that involves both being a mother and having a job outside the home. I pray I can fulfill His purpose for me in both areas.
Hello, again, Monday. Mama’s back in heels and a pencil skirt. With a little dried milk on her shoulder. Seems the perfect attire for this day.